You expect your friends and family to drop what they’re doing to drive you somewhere. Whenever you don’t get your way, you throw a temper-tantrum and start slamming objects around. Then you blame that person for making you late.
…You’re a grown ass adult.
— youareadouchebagif - 34You rely on others for rides, but you never wanna give gas money.
— youareadouchebagif - 33You eat your roommates food while you’re high, and then you lie about doing it once confronted.
— youareadouchebagif - 32Your roommates constantly ask you to stop exposing yourself. You shower and dress with the bathroom door open, you walk around the house in your tight-tight underwear, and you scratch your balls while doing so. WTF? No one wants to see you like that.
— youareadouchebagif 31
LOL there was a different version of this too. But it’s so true. She basically used Dorothy to eliminate her political rivals before telling her about her teleporting shoes.
I never got this either. Plus, if water was all it took, why didn’t she get a super soaker or just wait for rain…?
Huh…
Today Your Daily Douche would like to share with you, an entertaining little product we came across while perusing the douchenet. From orange32.com:
Douche Cards
You hand them to douches as a means of extending a friendly bit of advice without having to say it. This can be helpful if you’re unaccustomed to calling people out, or if the douche at hand is boasting, cheering, threatening, or pontificating too loudly to feasibly hear anyone else.
Here’s what the manufacturer has to say about the product :“Tired of arguing with complete morons? Tired of getting into bar room brawls? Well now avoid the confrontation with our glorious Douche Card. Simply hand it to the asshole in question and walk away. Problem solved.”
Short, sweet, and to the point. Just be certain to make a quick exit, because you probably won’t benefit from waiting to see their response. While the Douche Cards are clear and concise when it comes to getting the point across, whether they’re successful in getting the point to sink in, we can’t say for sure. That being said, we’re asking for feedback from anyone who has tested this product.
Buy Douche Cards Here
This is hilarious.
We witnessed this. The douche who was yelling…was yelling loud enough for people across the street to stop what they were doing and watch him get in this man’s face just to go on and on about him having the right of way, and there’s nothing wrong with his driving skills, he can text and drive just fine, and the driver of the car he bumped into is a moron, and his poor car… It was ridiculous.
Sadly, this is the short version of this story.
