LOL there was a different version of this too. But it’s so true. She basically used Dorothy to eliminate her political rivals before telling her about her teleporting shoes.
I never got this either. Plus, if water was all it took, why didn’t she get a super soaker or just wait for rain…?
Huh…
Today Your Daily Douche would like to share with you, an entertaining little product we came across while perusing the douchenet. From orange32.com:
Douche Cards
You hand them to douches as a means of extending a friendly bit of advice without having to say it. This can be helpful if you’re unaccustomed to calling people out, or if the douche at hand is boasting, cheering, threatening, or pontificating too loudly to feasibly hear anyone else.
Here’s what the manufacturer has to say about the product :“Tired of arguing with complete morons? Tired of getting into bar room brawls? Well now avoid the confrontation with our glorious Douche Card. Simply hand it to the asshole in question and walk away. Problem solved.”
Short, sweet, and to the point. Just be certain to make a quick exit, because you probably won’t benefit from waiting to see their response. While the Douche Cards are clear and concise when it comes to getting the point across, whether they’re successful in getting the point to sink in, we can’t say for sure. That being said, we’re asking for feedback from anyone who has tested this product.
Buy Douche Cards Here
This is hilarious.
We witnessed this. The douche who was yelling…was yelling loud enough for people across the street to stop what they were doing and watch him get in this man’s face just to go on and on about him having the right of way, and there’s nothing wrong with his driving skills, he can text and drive just fine, and the driver of the car he bumped into is a moron, and his poor car… It was ridiculous.
Sadly, this is the short version of this story.
they also forgot the space between good and morning, but is that really relevant in a text message?
That’s a gross thought. Still, funny tho…
This right here is some nonsense. I don’t care who this chick is. She has the right to do whatever she wants with her body. She doesn’t belong to you, Creator of this meme. She doesn’t owe you anything. Obviously, she was right for not wanting a relationship with you, as evidenced by your lack of critical thinking skills, tendency to gossip, and how quickly you are to cast judgement upon women for playing the same game as men.
We conclude that you and anyone who may agree with the content of this meme are douchebags. 
We recommend for you to get some common sense and remove the bitterness that has permeated your heart.
The Kendall County Sheriff’s Department has launched an internal investigation into an alleged incident involving an off-duty deputy pulling a gun on a pregnant woman in a Walmart express lane.
Just one week from her due date, Nicole Thurmond said she feared for her life while checking out at a Walmart store in Oswego on a recent Sunday.
“I felt someone close behind me. He started being really rude and said, ‘Don’t you know how to count? You are holding up the whole store,” Thurmond recalled.
Thurmond said she didn’t know it at the time, but the man in plain clothes was off-duty deputy Craig French.
Thurmond’s husband had been getting eggs at the time and said he could see his wife was upset when he returned to the checkout area.
“There was a guy in her face, yelling at her,” said Jason Thurmond. “In an aggressive manner he steps toward me, and I just push him back to keep him away from my wife and myself, and before I knew it I just froze because he pulled out a gun.”
Jason Thurmond said the man didn’t show his badge, was “waving a gun in a store,” and at one point asked them if they were on welfare.
“At one point I turned by back to him, because I was afraid if it did go off, at least it hits my backside and not in the front where my baby is,” said Nicole Thurmond.
The couple said that only after he waved the gun did the man identify himself as a sheriff’s deputy.
Jason Thurmond was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery for the shove he admits he gave the deputy. The Thurmonds have since filed a formal complaint with the department.
“I’m a big believer in karma. Someday he’ll be the one who can’t move very fast. He’ll see,” said the expectant mother.
The Kendall County Sheriff’s Department said in a statement the incident is under an internal investigation to determine if the deputy’s actions “are consistent with the rules and regulations of the Sheriff’s Office.”
The investigation is separate from any criminal investigation by Oswego Police, the department said in a statement.
So let’s get this straight:
A woman enters the Walmart express lane with more items than the lane calls for.
A cop behind her believes that mouthing off to her in front of her obviously enormous husband is a wise thing to do.
Not willing to back down after he put his foot in his mouth, the cop decides to play Mr Tough Guy by pulling out his gun and waving it around everywhere, scaring people half to death.
And who gets in trouble? The man defending his wife from this lunatic cop pointing guns at pregnant women.
What. The Fuck. Is That?
